The Christmas angel toss

On the day after the holiday party that my husband and I threw, I stumbled out of bed, yanked back the shower curtain and began laughing hysterically. I was a victim of The Return of the Christmas Angel.

Last December, our friends Jim and Denise invited us to a party that included a Christmas ornament exchange. Each guest brought a wrapped ornament – which meant you couldn’t see them. We drew numbers to determine the order in which we’d pick out ornaments. When your number came up, you could opt to select a wrapped ornament from the mystery pile or (before unwrapping one) steal someone else’s. Theft and covetousness really brings out the holiday spirit.

My number was near the end, and I could have swiped the much-desired margarita glass ornament (it changed hands several times). But, no. I took my chances. I unwrapped the ugliest Christmas ornament ever. The doll-like angel appears to be made from something similar to pantyhose, stuffed unevenly, with a hank of yarn hair and stitched-on eyes. Oh, and she is buck naked. View Exhibits A and B at right. I rest my case.

Before we left the party, I hid the ornament in Jim and Denise’s kitchen cabinet. During every visit between us in the intervening months, the angel has changed locations. During a summer pool party, I slipped it in their bed. At a board game party, while I was distracted by a domino game, Denise dropped it in my purse. This time, it arrived with a note: “Mommy. I finally found you. Now we can be together forever.” I don’t think so. Hey, Jim and Denise, what are y’all doing New Year’s Eve?


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